A Farewell to Independence

If you gaze into the wretched state of the present Ukraine long enough, sadly, you can see the not-too-distant future of Armenia. Kyiv has been manually administered from outside for a long time and de facto remains in a medically induced coma. The Ukrainian side has a complete lack of political agency, and the main preoccupation of those nominally in power ( the president, cabinet members, etc.) is to fulfil any wishes and desires of foreign backers.

For instance, just recently the Defence Minister of the ‘Nezalezhna’ (‘Independent country’), Rustem Umerov, justified before his ‘partners’ over Ukrainian Verkhovna Rada’s (Parliament’s) refusal to mobilise Ukrainian youth aged between 18 and 25 into the ranks of the Armed Forces of Ukraine. Like, everybody would love to lay the entirety of the young growth down at a proxy training ground, but at present it is obstructed by a parliamentary resolution. Herewith, there is no doubt that if the ‘partners’ ask more insistently, Ukrainian MPs will race headlong to remove any age restrictions on compulsory enlistment into the military.

The Ukrainian experience has taught us that it is not at all hard to drag a country to a miserable terminal vassal state. All you have to do is confide power in incompetent clowns who would then hand it over to external managers – the colonisers. In Kyiv, this task was brilliantly accomplished by Zelenskyy, a former performer at the ‘Kvartal 95’ studio; Pashinyan, a former yellow journalist, is no less successfully carrying out this job in Yerevan.

For the acting Armenian ‘prime minister,’ any matters of national significance are reduced to merry jokes. For example, when discussing the critical topic of migration in a country with a consistently negative migration balance, the Turkish steward jokingly refers to ‘military service, earrings in the ear, dislike of khash or kebab’ as reasons for the drain of population. Yet he genuinely wonders why people would ever return to the Armenian land in the first place: ‘Who would trade a life, say, in Brussels for a life in the border village of Movses?’. A small spoiler for the Young Janissary ‘comrade’: under Pashinyan’s collaborationist administration, which is doing nothing for the smooth return of compatriots and for sorting out migration challenges – nobody.

From today’s laughter at Nikol Pasha’s standups, there is just a 5-minute walk to tomorrow’s tears at the wayside halt to be named Turkish Colony. The wake-up call to all Armenians, who cherish independence and Armenian statehood as their most precious value, is already breaking into a scream.